When I first moved into my house with my three other roommates last year, things were going just fine. The four of us were all first year Teach For America teachers, eagre to make an impact and be social justice advocates. After the first few weeks, I found that some of the groceries I bought would just go missing (we each bought our own groceries and shared a communal fridge/kitchen). I first asked my roommates if any of them had been accidently taking my stuff, not a big deal I understood mistakes happen. Each of them denied having taken any of my food, but my groceries would still go missing. Being a first year teacher is extremely stressful, and coming home to prepare a meal with half the ingredients I bought missing was getting very old, very fast.
It wasn't until I had to take a day off work and found that one of my roommates boyfriend was actually living in our house when all of us were gone to work. I realized he was the one eating my groceries and mooching off the rest of us. I was infuriated and addressed this issue head on by letting my roommate know I Was very uncomfortable with her boyfriend staying in our house with none of us knowing about it/being at home. She took my confrontation as an "attack" and decided to stop talking to me and spend the majority of her days and nights at his house.
In hindsight, I don't know if I would have approached this issue any differently. I was very upfront and straightforward with my concerns. I do realize that I wasn't really mad about the food going missing, I was moreso upset that I felt like my home wasn't a safe zone, I was being disrespected, and I had to be cautious of my interactions and where I place things in my own house. I felt like I was being disrespected by whoever was doing this to me. Maybe I should have confronted my roommate letting her know with more clarity exactly how this situation made me feel, and that wouldn't have jeoperdized our relationship so severely.